Sam Houston and the Battle of San Jacinto April 21, 1836

     One hundred seventy-seven years ago today, in 1836, Sam Houston slept late.  His army, such as it was, was camped in the San Jacinto woods about a mile from Santa Anna’s troops.  The Mexicans had been awake all night, shoring up their defenses, feverishly preparing for an expected dawn attack by the Texians.  Houston slept until the sun was high in the sky.  He just didn’t feel like getting up early and starting a fight in the swamp.  Whether this decision was based on military brilliance, blind luck, or a massive hangover is a matter of debate.  I suspect the latter.

     At three that afternoon, Houston’s head felt better and he led his troops across the mile of bald prairie separating the armies.  The ensuing battle lasted eighteen minutes and changed the history of the world.  For a detailed account, go to my blog post “Texas History #3, The Battle of San Jacinto,” dated March 30, 2012, and the later post “Texas History #4, Peace in the Valley,” dated April 8, 2012.

      By the way, April 21^st is San Jacinto Day, not Texas Independence Day.  Texas’ inept legislature, after wrangling for five months, declared independence from Mexico on March 2, 1836,  That is our Independence Day.  Then, four days later, the Alamo fell on March 6,  and Texans remember that day, but don’t celebrate it.  On Palm Sunday of that year, March 27^th, Santa Anna had all the prisoners at Goliad massacred, except for twenty-seven that ran away in the smoke and confusion and forty-four others that sweet little Panchita saved.  Read about her in my Blog, “Francisca Panchita Alavez” on December 14, 2012, and “The Angel of Goliad” on December 20. 2012.  Stick with me—in the words of my friend Ken Black, “I’ll put you under the Big Top.”

     At the time of the Battle of San Jacinto,  Mexico owned present day Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, and part of Wyoming.  Britain had its eye on California and the whole west coast.  Spain wanted to retake all of Mexico. France was open to expansion just to keep up with England.  In the United States, especially among the “slave states,” there was a growing desire to expand west to California.  “Manifest Destiny” was already on the minds of some politicians.

     Sam Houston and Santa Anna agreed to the “Treaties of Velasco,” which the Mexican government immediately denounced.  International law was on the Mexican side, for no leader was allowed to negotiate while in captivity or under duress.  This technicality did not deter the two opium smokers.  Houston and Santa Anna blissfully smoked dope and worked out a treaty which gave both men what they wanted.  Texas was ceded to the rebels under Houston and Santa Anna was not strung up from the “Which Way Oak.”

     Edward Burnet, the provisional president of Texas, actually signed the treaties with Santa Anna while Houston was recuperating from his wounds in New Orleans.  In a private treaty, Santa Anna also agreed to work for the recognition of Texas independence inside Mexico, and the establishment of the border at the Rio Grande.  Mexico was not about to agree to any of this and Santa Anna himself was not serious.  He would have signed anything to escape execution by the revengeful Texians.

     Because of turmoil inside the Mexican Government, the little Republic of Texas was allowed to survive.  Given a stable government, the Mexicans would have immediately invaded Texas and put an end to silly notions about independence.  Instead, Mexico issued an ultimatum to the United States.  They said, in diplomatic terms, “We still own Texas and do not recognize the Republic of Texas.  We will take action against these upstarts as soon as we get our stuff together.  In the meantime, if you try to annex or otherwise acquire the territory of Texas, it means war.” 

      Andrew Jackson wanted Texas, but he didn’t want war with Mexico.  The northern states didn’t want Texas, a slave state, in the union.  America kept adding new states, Mexico continued internal squabbling, and the cash-strapped Republic of Texas tended its business while nervously watching its southern border.  That border, incidentally, was difficult to watch.  It was considered to be the Nueces River by Mexico and the Rio Grande River by Texas.

     Mexico, under Santa Anna, invaded Texas a couple of times in the next few years.  The attempts were half-hearted, Santa Anna was struggling to stay in power, and the Mexican supply lines were long and easily broken.  Santa Anna’s dream of reconquering Texas was thwarted;  he was put out of office and condemned to death.  Lucky for the United States, he was exiled instead. 

     Almost ten years after San Jacinto, Texas joined the Union and war with Mexico became imminent.  Santa Anna quietly made a private deal with the United States.  He needed help to get back into Mexico and into power, and he agreed to sell Texas and other Mexican holdings to the United States at bargain prices in exchange for that help.

     After the United States declared war in May of 1846, Santa Anna wrote the president of Mexico, Valentin Gomez Farias, saying he no longer had any desire to be president and offering his services as leader of the army to fight the Americans.  The desperate (and not too bright) Farias allowed him back into the country and made him a general.

     Once back in Mexico and head of the army, Santa Anna reneged on both deals.  He took over the Mexican Government, named himself president, vowed to run the Americans out of Mexico and retake Texas.  He didn’t keep those promises, either.  General Zachary Taylor and the Texas Rangers won the war with relative ease.

      The dust settled in 1848, and the United States stretched from sea to shining sea.  The Gadsen Purchase, in 1854, straightened America’s southern border and fleshed out Arizona and New Mexico.  America had some problems with the pesky British in the Pacific Northwest, but essentially, the Mexican/American War of 1846 defined the boundaries of the continental United States.

     I need to point out the obvious, because everyone doesn’t always see the obvious.  Andrew Jackson, John Tyler, James Polk, or any other American president of the time could not have acquired all this territory without Texas.  Had Sam Houston not prevailed at San Jacinto, no one can say what the United States might look like today.  Texas provided the spark that started the war, and, as much as Zachary Taylor disliked them, the Texas Rangers were instrumental in winning it.

       Without the efforts of the great state of Texas, it is patently obvious that Disneyland today might well be in Anaheim, Mexico, and the Mormons live around Salt Lake City, Mexico.  If you see a Texan, it wouldn’t hurt a thing if you yankees were to say, “Thanks!”  In fact, that’d be real nice.  We’d all be much-abliged.

The HEB Diet

The West Entry of my HEB Store.  This door marks the starting point.

     I have wrestled with a weight problem most of my adult life.  I enjoy eating and have from an early age, which has contributed to my ongoing battle with bulges.  After watching Oprah and The View on TV, and learning that nothing is really my fault, I discovered that the root cause of my life-long obesity was my psychotic mother.   

     Mother grew up in East Texas on a red dirt, dry-land farm in the midst of the Depression.  During those Dust Bowl years, everyone was hungry and, consequently, skinny. Mother wanted fat babies.  In her eyes, well-fed babies were healthy babies and she worked to make her babies fat, happy, and healthy.  My poor mother equated love with food and she loved her children.

     No meal at our house was complete without potatoes and bread.  We had biscuits for breakfast, light bread for lunch, and corn bread for dinner.  We enjoyed foreign foods--German Fries in the morning and French Fries at dinner.  Everything was fried in lard until Mom got on a health kick and started using Crisco.  Fried chicken and chicken fried steak were staples, and mother loved us so much, she always cooked extra and insisted we have seconds.

     It is refreshing to know that I can blame Mom’s psychosis for my problems, especially when she is not here to defend herself.  I have learned I am not just a weak-willed fatso, I have a “Food Addiction” and it is not my fault.  I have dealt with this addiction by employing a series of diets.  Over the years, I have lost several hundred pounds and have put back on several hundred and thirty-four pounds.

     My latest diet is one I call the HEB Diet, after my favorite supermarket.  The HEB (Here Everyone’s Beefy) Diet is simple.  I eat a light breakfast, a good lunch, and a light dinner.  Typically, I have plain oatmeal for breakfast, salad for lunch and a small piece of broiled fish for dinner--total calories maybe 1200 to 1500.  This sounds boring, and it is, so I liven it up by visiting the HEB Store.

     The HEB Diet gives me the bonus of being able to eat anything in the store that is available as a free sample.  Rules are I cannot buy and eat anything, nor can I steal and eat anything, but I can avail myself of everything offered as a free sample.  This innocent little twist adds variety, color and interest to an otherwise boring and mundane routine.

     At the HEB Store, I like to start at the west entry, near the produce area.  I circle around by the station where they make guacamole.  The little girl will give you a small container with a tostada and some fresh guacamole, or a little cup of orange juice.  (Some days she squeezes fresh orange juice.)  Check around the apples and oranges too—they sometimes slice one up and put it out for people to taste.  The cheap ones are not sliced up—only the Fujis or Honey Crisps for $3.98 a pound.

Free Panini Sandwiches and Pizza sometimes adorn this counter.

     I generally move over toward the sandwich bar and check for samples there.  Sometimes bite-size bits of melted-cheese Panini sandwiches are available, or if you’re lucky, pepperoni pizza samples.  The store employees don’t monitor how much you sample.  Check out the center aisle—for about a week they had Jordan Almonds—I sampled several handfuls every trip.  My, my, they are tasty.

The Roast Beef is a bit rare, but the cheese is good.

     On top of the olive display are little plastic cups.  Use these to sample anything in the olive bins.  I like the little sweet red peppers and mozzarella, but the kalamata olives and pickled garlic are also excellent.  Any of these temper the sweetness left over from the Jordan Almonds.

     Moving on down past the deli, I check for samples of roast beef and cheese, perched on little acrylic-covered islands.  Even though the beef is a bit rare for my taste, the price is right.  I stab two or three pieces of meat and four or five chunks of smoked Gouda on one of those long toothpicks.   Next in line, the pastry department usually has cut-up cinnamon rolls, cookies, or brownies available on little islands.  After all that roast beef and cheese, something sweet for dessert goes well.

Artisan Breads.  Note sample box in center.

     In the bread department, up on the slanted shelves with the artisan breads, little boxes hold bread samples.  I prefer the cranberry walnut loaf, but the Asiago cheese bread is really good.  Again, no one seems to care how much you sample, but get there early.  The cut up bread dries out quickly.

     Around the corner, past the gooey pastry case and glass-doored frozen fish display, look around for the sweet, well-endowed blond lady with perfect teeth.  She’ll be passing out wine samples from a little table.

     “This here's a new Pie-not Nore from out in California.  Would jew like a taste?”

     I take a sip and say, “It is nice, robust, and fruity, but it slides off the palate a bit quickly.  Could I have a bigger sample to see if it will cling?”

     She looks suspicious.  “I’ll have to ask my supervisor.  What’s a pal-ate?”

     Meanwhile, at the Cooking Connection, old Jim, looking silly in a black chef’s hat, is combining an eight-dollar jar of Tortilla Soup Mix with a two-dollar can of Rotel Tomatoes. He calls that “cooking.”  He’ll be happy to give a sample to anyone he doesn’t recognize. 

      He recognizes me, and frowns.  I grab a chunk of ciabatta bread from the display on his counter, dip it in olive oil and keep moving.  I like Jim, but he acts like he owns the store—takes all the fun out of free samples.

     Unless the red-haired lady is cooking sausage wraps on an electric skillet, or the Asian guy is pushing sushi, there are no more samples until the island in front of the dairy cases.  Another little acrylic station there sports mixed nuts, or trail mix, or dried cranberries.  A good handful of any is really filling.

     Turn right here—no sense in going into the dairy aisle—nothing free there.  At the end of the gondola on the right are the specialty cookies.  Almost always, Chocolate Chip Galore cookies are provided as samples.  These are really good.  I hear they were once featured in a James Bond movie.

The rice cake exploder gun is in the background, next to the lie about prices.  Almond butter in foreground.

     Straight ahead, at the front of the store, on the left, is a table with exploded rice cakes and almond butter.  Sometimes I like to start here and do the tour in reverse, but ending a meal with guacamole and pizza is awkward, so I usually go clockwise.  Skipping around to get everything in proper order takes a lot of effort and, with only 1500 calories a day, I don’t need the exercise.

     Funny thing.  As careful as I have been, so far I haven’t lost any weight.  In fact, I gained four pounds last week.  Maybe I should cut out the oatmeal.  If only Mother had been mentally stable…but then, I guess we can all say that.